Nigerian
old men are living proof that it is never too late to find love.
When
the late Owelle of Onitsha and first President of the Federal Republic of
Nigeria, Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe, in his late ages declared his intention to then
marry his youngest wife, Uche, a member
of the renowned Afikpo traditional dance named ‘Nkwa Nwite’ which entertained
him when he visited Afikpo, Nigerians cried blue.
Reason was because of the age difference.
Zik
was then in his 70s while Uche was barely 16 years. The marriage took place and
today, the rest they say is history. In
1989, it was publicized that Bianca Odumegwu-Ojukwu was dating the late former
Biafran Head of State and Ikemba of Nnewi Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu, a political
associate of her father. Ojukwu who was alleged to be over thirty years her age
later married her. By early 1990s, Bianca Onoh, became Bianca Odumegwu-Ojukwu.
Not done, Shade married business mogul Okoya Thomas when she was 18 years in
2002.
Last
year, there were reports that ex- beauty queen; Susan Hart is 'reportedly'
married to Chief Sunny Kuku.
72-year-old
Nigerian billionaire, Emmanuel Iwuanyanwu, a politician, statesman and Chairman
of the Champion Newspaper, created controversy after getting married to a girl
almost 50 years his junior and tied the proverbial nuptial knot with
26-year-old Frances Chinonyerem Enwerem in a traditional ceremony that took
place in Owerri, Imo State, Capital.
The
wedding comes two years after Iwuanyanwu, lost his wife Eudora Iwuanyanwu, to
cancer.
Frances
is reported to be the daughter of one of Iwuanyanwu’s late wife's close
friends.
Trailing
behind Iwuanyanwu in this new marriage culture is Emeka Offor, businessman and
a contractor from Anambra State. Ofor reported to be in his sixties secretly
took another wife. On Saturday, Last year October 12, he performed the
traditional rite for the marriage of a 24-year old girl as the fourth wife.
The
ceremony took place at the residence of the father of the bride, Alexander Okey
Ufondu, at Umuezeopi in Oraifite, Ekwusigo Local Government Area of Anambra
State. The bride named Adaora lives with his husband in the highbrow district
of Maitama in Nigeria’s Federal Capital Territory of Abuja.
The
wedding has already been generating ripples in the religious communities of
Oraifite, the hometown of both Mr Offor and his new father in law, Mr Ufondu,
an Onitsha-based trader.
The
man who holds the league of the oldies marrying younger girls’ diadem is
Senator Sani Ahmed Yerima, the former Zamfara State Governor and now Senator of
the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
Yerima
took the nation by surprise when he defended his decision to marry a
13-year-old, saying it is Islamic.
The
senator came under fire for marrying an Egyptian girl who is alleged to be 46
years his junior.
Yerima,
50, is said to have paid $100,000 as dowry for the 13-year-old girl.
Nigerian
human rights organisations say Yerima has broken the law and have called for
his immediate arrest.
Yerima's
problems have been compounded by the fact that the wedding took place in the
capital Abuja, where it was illegal to marry under the age of 18.
Marriages
of underage people do not often cause controversy as many northern states have
refused to recognise the law making marriage for people under 18 illegal.
These
are the reasons why young women marry older men who are old enough to be their
Fathers age mates.
Onyanwe
Aku Uche attributes it to poverty. According to the student of Abia State
University, it’s money and status only.
Uche
is of the view that such marriages lead to adultery and promiscuousness
because, he believes that the old men cannot be able to sexually performed
their bed responsibilities.
According
to him, no marriage survives without sex.
Those who speak to Daily Newswatch said even
though they enjoy such marriages, the girls are accused of pretending in such
marriages. Nigerians attacked such marriages with fierce criticism and sees
such union as immoral.
"This
is strictly for the money,” one commentator said. "Does she want to call
it love? Why will the children support such a marriage?
Marriage
counsels said such marriages doesn’t last because the death of the man
nullifies such marriages and the young girl would now go and marry the young
ones they love with the late old man’s money.
Oluokun
Stephen stated that all the essence is for money, status and security.
Christiana
Kanu quipped.”When there is money, women will marry anything inside trouser”,
she added. “It is obvious that such girls will be getting sex elsewhere.”
Another
commentator who applied for anonymity claimed that any marriage with a young
woman marrying an older person, old to be ones father is not right.
“This
was never the case in the past. We unfortunate want to create a kind of civilization
that has no basis for rationality”, he claimed. And who told you that old men
cannot have sex? Is she complaining that her man cannot satisfy her sexually?
You forget that men's urge for sex still lives with them even when they are
eighty but it is not the same for women when she reaches menopause”. He
queried. “Have you ever slept with an old man and found him incompetent? Many
ladies who married people not old enough to be their fathers still go in the
closet to use dildos and vibrators. Is your understanding of marriage only
based on sex.Where is companionship”?
Sociologist,
Chinedu Ukwu blamed the economy for such marriage. He was of the view that if
the nation’s economy should improve where the girls could get job and take care of their rent, car loan,
dressing, feeding and other sundry things of life that most of the older men
would be rejected and insulted when they approach most of these girls for
marriage.
Checks
revealed that such girls are gold diggers who proceed to having affairs/ lovers
with old men. According to one female commentator, it serves the old men right.
She said that such girls are on revenge mission to what some boys have done to
their older female lovers. She said that the young ladies perch on the oldies
for their money and would dump them when they have gotten what they want.
“Serves the older perverts right, for marrying women young enough to be their
daughters/ granddaughters”, she said.
Another
commentator explained that the girls made their choice and should be allowed to
enjoy their life.
Mrs
Amaka Onyekwere disclosed that older men in marriage are security. She said
very huge chunk of them protect their young wives. She revealed that older men
are great in bed better than younger men. There are reports that older men are
more sensual and more sexually aware.
Another anonymous commentator also said that why
Young
women marry older men were because younger men are not ready to settle down and
that those who are ready were very few.
A female student told us that she prefers
older men because they are the best people to marry. According to her, they are
more mature and know how to love.
An
Igbo lady confessed that she married a man 20years older than her and that the
man is strong on bed. “I'm married to a man 20yrs older and yes! My man can
jump o! I met him and he didn't look his age. He's a very intelligent man and
very rich too. His wealth is a plus for me because I can't train any man”, she
added. “I don’t want a man that will use my sweat to chase small girls”.
The
anonymous Igbo lady continued. “My middle name is Orie-aku not Odoziaku. I love
my husband. He is very handsome. When my kids were toddlers, he would bath,
change diapers, babysit and he plays soccer with our son every evening and he
takes a long walk with our son. I'm blessed”.
To
Fumi Ajanaku, young men don’t have respect for girls, she said it takes time
for young men to build themselves and for ladies to continue waiting on them,
they would get old and the men won’t marry them at last. She accused the young
ones of always wanting sex and the girls’ money.
“A
friend of mine is 25 and her husband is 55,
30yrs
difference, she has everything she would ever need”.
Another
lady spoke of her personal experience and said such union is fantastic if one
gets his choice. “I am 27 and my husband is 50. He was a widower who had lost
his wife and kids in a ghastly motor accident. Sex is still fantastic. I really
don't know how he does it. He satisfies me because he is so energetic and
passionate always wanting to please me first”, she added. “He must make me come
multiple times before he comes. We have sex many times in the week, because he
can't resist me”. According to her, the fact was that not all such marriages
succeed. She disclosed that not all such marriages are contracted on money. She
said some are really induced by true love.
“I am from a rich home, so money was not the motive. Before I met my
husband, I have been used by my two previous boyfriends. And I had given up on
love. But then my knight in shiny armour arrived. I feel in love with him the
first day I met him, but I was forming. And he kept on chasing me. Finally I
accepted and it's been the best of three years of my life”. She added. “Even
the young ones I had before my husband could not satisfy me, it was all about
him. I try as much to not think of the future and we live for now. We may not
have that much time together but whatever time God gives me to spend with my
soul mate I will make it worthwhile”.
Susan
Orji stated. “As for me, my hubby is 18yrs my senior and I love it that way.
Small boys come with so much stress. Right from my teenage years, I knew I was
not meant for small boys. I am 30, married at age 24, my hubby treats me like
egg, he loves me and over looks my excesses. If I had married my mate or
someone who is 2-5yrs older, I guess maybe I would be back to my parents’ house
by now”.
“Older
men pamper their women, the women glow with pride. When you step out with your
older hubby, all eyes will be on you, women age fast and with an older hubby
you can’t be bothered”, she added. “Infact the man will look younger for you.
Days of starting from the scratch are fast fading, God forbid, the man makes it
to the top, you will be treated as a second class citizen especially if you are
the type that over loves your hubby, it u die today, the man will quickly
re-marry tomorrow. It’s still small girls that will help you ‘chop’ your man's
money”. Another lady who declined his name also stated. I'm married to old man
of 21year different. I’m blessed with three kids. All I can tell say is that
I'm blessed.sex is great better than my former younger boyfriend.
Most of the ladies interviewed accused younger
ones of being gold diggers.
According
to them, those younger ones means of livelihood like good jobs believed they
are good catch and usually use that as decoy to cheat.
“My
grandfather was 25yrs old than my grandmother, she had eight children for him.
He was the only man that ever saw her naked. Like someone comment earlier let's
stop all these civilisation age, it’s just a number”, another female
commentator stated.
Reasons
advanced by some female commentators are that there are lots of advantages of
marrying an older man. They disclosed that older men are successful, mature,
more stable in life, more responsible and sexually experienced as well.
According to the ladies, the older men are less likely to stray and will have
more time for their younger women. Continuing, the ladies opined that the older
men are less likely to abuse their younger wives who are of the same age with
their daughters.
“I
am proud of my older husband. I am 29, he is 48. I have never been happier. In
my life no man wakes me up with flowers, but my older hubby does that
consistently for the past three years. If I had known I wouldn’t have wasted
time when he asked me to marry him 6yrs ago. I was busy falling for foolish
love for a younger guy, fine boy, no money, aiming at sucking me dry. God I
thank you that I married my husband. he loves my kids so much, plays with them,
helps me change diapers, sometimes i don’t even do anything in the house, he
helps me clean, cook and take care of the kids when I am tired. We are talking
of a multi millionaire here. Even with his status, he has time for his family,
he listens to me, teaches me things, very patient with my excesses, best of
all, he prays for me and the kids every day”, Uche Nwosu claimed.
Another
lady who claimed to be a student said money is not enough for her to marry her
‘Papa’ as she puts it. According to her, its scarcity of husband that causes
such husband. “My advice for single ladies; if you pass 30yrs please, take any
one you see, the idea is to born children. The rates of infertility problems
are alarming”, she disclosed further.
“I
think for women so inclined; it’s because older (responsible men) have seen it
all, made their mistakes and learnt from them and they know how to care for a
woman. As for famous older men, women are very attracted to power. That said it
has its down sides, when the men cannot meet up in some department due to
illness or natural ageing process”.
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